I watched you die
I heard you cry
Every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry
In the middle of the night
Over the same damn thing

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I tried my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid

I will never want to end things in a sad way unless it's way too out of my control.
Even my latest darkest lyric about self-multilation shows signs of hope at e end.
Someone said something today after SCC Monthly Performance at KAP: how about writing a sad song? a really sad song? and one of my friends suddenly turned and looked at me and said: ur songs are all very sad..can leh. Then i was thinkin..is tat true?
And she was right..yeah, most of my lyrics which i'd shown them were all very sad and helpless and even hopeless..i will try something new..i will, i hope. People say that lyrics r mostly about ur life so wat does tat reflects about me?

Now for something light~
Let's look at wat i had for dinner last night...

I'm sorry if it looks gross to u..but it really tasted very nice.
btw, tat is 80% cooked salmon if u still couldn't figure it out.
Fish! oh, i jus loves eating fishes..can we eat goldfish? is it edible?
There is only one kind of fish which i wont eat n tat is clownfish..cos clownfish=nemo =p
Lucky them..
and..no, it wasn't me who whipped up tat dish..
He, who came back home with a piece of raw salmon, cucumbers, tomatos and a lemon, suddenly said tat he wants to cook dinner for me..n so..i saved my dinner money n waited for it to be served.
And tat guy is none other than my brother. Thanks di =D
Forgetting about e little girlish secret about my brother, i have to say that he is a great cook. Having great potential in tis field becos of my dad's gene is a great gift, but i'm not jealous cos i've gotten e gene of being artistically capable from my dad. Thanks dad =D

Cloned Heartz
8/31/2006 02:14:00 AM

For the 1st time in my life, i'm using a set of products worth up to $300 for my face..ahahah..it was Mum who paid for it anyway =D
however, those products r to be shared between my brother n me.
oh well, whose fault it is to have a brother who likes "face"? he is soo much like a typical girl sia..being so mindful about his appearance..even if he is going somewhere near e house for a while, he would put on concealer..
and yes, he brings concealer out..i dont, u noe..
oh no, i hope he dun see tis post..ahahah
Dear mum, we promise to use those products wisely =)
Cleanser: $55
Toner: $39.90
Moisturiser: $66
Essence #1: $73
Essence #2: $50
Make-up Remover: $27 (after discount)


How i wish i would have more 好桃花(good love luck) than 烂桃花 (bad love luck)in my life..(is that how ppl would translate as?)
A man msged me tis afternoon..

Man: hi Yvonne, can we b friends?

Me: Erm, who r u? (expectin to be someone i sort of noe or at least hv some connection with either of my friends..)

Man: (den he replied with his name..blah blah..)

Me: ok, i dun mind making more friends..but how do u noe about me n how do u get my hp no.? (cos i still dunno who e hell is blah blah)

Man: i'm ex np student. hope u dun mind happen 2 get ur no frm a namelist.

After a few minutes..i din even have e time to reply...

Man: i'm sincere 2 make friends with u.

Me: oh ok, jus wonderin..wat namelist was tat n why do u wanna befriend me?

Man: a normal namelist. i hav d feeling u r my lucky gal.
(OhNoNoNo, i seriously dun like tat as an answer for both questions)

Man: i hav no bad intention. hope u can cal me 2. r u attached? i hav limit on my no of smses. (where got ppl reply like tat when he/she wanna noes e other party?)

After a few mins..

Man: pls reply.

Me: Oh, sorry but i dun lke to chat on e phone (actually is i dun like to chat with ppl i'm not close to)..no, i'm not attached. well, u can add me in msn at: blah blah blah. (being nice to him, yes, i gave him my msn add.)

Man: ok. by d way wat ur age?u 1 noe anything bt me?

Me: i'm turnin 18 tis dec. erm, u can tell me about ur age, hobbies, ur occupation, wat course n cca u were previously in..

Man: 34. n blah blah blah...(shall not say everything out la..u ppl can ask me personally thou if u're interested bout his hobbies n stuffs but seriously, was very shock when he replied he is 34..i cant imagine..twice my age..)

Me: oh ok, hv a great day ahead.

Man: U 2. Do u think age is a barrier?

Me who was in e toilet: i personally think tat e vibe and e personalities r more important..n of course, e topics for conversations mus also click.

Man: Cool. I'm beginning 2 think u r my kind of gal. wat r ur hobbies? describe urself.

Me: tat is still very early to say (aiyoz...n he continued to msg me..)
.
.
.
Man: May i cal u later?

After a while..

Man: can u reply me?

After a few more mins..

Man: pls reply.

After 5mins..my phone rings..i din pick up cos i can guess it's him.

A few more mins later..

Man: is it i said something wrong? If so, I'm very sori. I persoanlly feel chatting on d phone bring out my sincerity, strengthing our friendship.

And for e next 3 phone calls, i din pick up...

Beginning to regret giving him my msn add. i soo wanna tell him to stop being a pest..but i din..nice me =p ahahaha

Cloned Heartz
8/27/2006 06:39:00 PM

Went swimming today=D it was a last minute decision..as usual, i'm down with flu~
but i'm sure i'll be well again when i wake up.

If only i could say it all out in one shot...
No..i wont..
I lack:
-Courage
-Confident
-Ability (to put whatever that is in my mind into words just like wat's shown on tv)
No wonder, i always lose marks on e dialogue part in my script assignments...

Watched ANT BULLY (which tze interprets as "ma yi qi fu ren") on wednesday and...
of course i like it =)
Animations (term for old children to use), or rather, cartoons (i'm still a kid :o) r always e best pick for me..cos:
-educational (most of e cartoons are..)
-cute (when e ant shows e sad expression../ e small firefly character..)
-funny (when e "boom" explores somewhere in e grasses../ one of the ant character who hates red jellybeans at first..)
-Happy ending..always (well, have to be, targeting at kids wat..)
Reality is not always a happy ending..perhaps tat's why..i have to turn to cartoons..
What i intending to watch (no matter dvd/vcd or in cinema):
-Barnyard
-Monster house
And many many more coming up...

Besides the two canto songs from Isabella Leong, I've been listening to Yu heng's latest album - Real and..
[Xue Xi] is a really nice soft rock kinda song and i fall in love with this line:
放我的心在你手中, 千萬別松開你的手, 只是怕你不珍惜掉頭就走~
[Yi Ran Shi Peng You] added some dialogues in and it really enhances e whole song, making it a more emo ballad song. This song made me realized that i still like musical notes from the piano most..sound coming out of a piano is just soo..nice~
Another song which i want to mention is a song from Joey Rong Zu Er..
[Ai Qing Fu Xing] came out as a "sa si ren de ge", meaning it is easy and predictable that people would like that song since it sounded like a big orchestra playing a very ancient love song (jacky chan's show-Shen Hua keeps appearing in my head)..but putting this asides, [Qi Quan] is e song which i wanna recommand =)
The lyric is wordy but meaningful and i like it slow when it starts and then you feel the emotion coming out when Joey sang the chorus almost in one shot..amazing song..i like it as a whole..e melody, e lyric, e arrangement of e song, and e singer.

Cloned Heartz
8/25/2006 02:17:00 AM

Thanks alot...to my fellow zwei =) =D ;p
I'm able to blog as per normal now..Yipee!!!
Ok..tat's all..i guess all e thanks r enough to drown u already.. ;D

Had a relatively great day with an old friend..very patient n tolerant with me when he taught me how to play pool today..*still dunno wat's e diff. between pool and billiard btw..ahahah..
And e end result? SHOUTS:"I hit 6 balls in a row into the hole today!!!"
I hope i'm not addicted to playing pool..once in a while?.. it's ok.

Have been listening to Isabella Leong-梁洛施 songs recently..n i strongly recommand 眼淚的好戲 (Yan Lei De Hao Xi) and 恋上你的Blog (Lian Shang Ni De Blog)...probably becos of the lyrics..reflection of my fusion of feelings..anyway, tat's a great way to learn canto..=D

I think the best remedy for me when i'm feelin down is sleep-sleep all day long if i could..the feeling of breaking down and cry was there every time i wake up last week..n tat was bad..very bad tat i dun feel like facing anyone at all..was very sick, not physically..but psychologically.
And e worst thing is that everyone else is having or preparing for their exams tat there is no time for me..but i'm fine now =p
Tis week shall be a new start where i mus put e past behind thou i'm not sure whether i can do it or not...
Tze, my mind-reader..wait till ur exams r over before i tell u wat's goin on alright?
Sistas, i'll let u ppl noe soon =)

As not to end this as a sad post, i wanna thank Wei again...
I'm very looking forward to the chalet!!! =D

Cloned Heartz
8/22/2006 02:03:00 AM

This is e new skin for my blog.
I'm still trying to figure out how to divide my posts into the Archives category..why is it so difficult??Why can't it automatically divide?? and why I have to copy and paste my post into the template? why?? why not auto one??

I dunno whether u get what i wanna say..i dun expect u to apologise cos i choose this path myself n i enjoyed this sweet torturement of yours..I dun hv to tell u in order to let go..i believe time can bring me over tis..u dun hv to say or do anything. I'm just curious about who's ur female lead in your story...

I'm fine, really..just tired.不爱你是我自私的决定, 我的心还没答应我可以忘了你, 我应该放弃虽然我很努力, 我无法说服自己我不爱你. (Ah Bao n Brandy -Bu Ai Ni)

Cloned Heartz
8/14/2006 05:11:00 PM

I guess i'll be changin the skin soon..not tat i dun like the present one..but..jus feels like its time to change..shall have it changed after next week when i'm havin my holi. Great! got alot of things tat i can be involved in..like:
-paper craft work which my mum brought back from hk for me to do..
-being a stage design crew helpin out SCC for the annual concert which is at the end of the year..
-being an intern as a production assistant for studio company..(hopefully)
-finish watchin all the shows..(Ai Sha 17, Dragon Squad...)
-different exercises..
-sleep all day long..
n the list continues...not yet plan finish la..
Meanwhile, got to do well for the test next mon..history..on film somemore..
For Lyn, hope u'll enjoy urself on the upcoming sat. n...i'll think of more things to say..=)
Well, all these are tirin, and u don't know what i'm goin thru..

Cloned Heartz
8/02/2006 01:19:00 AM